Catching Up

It's been a bit, and I want to tell you where I've been...

Drawing is so important to me, but…

BUT…

I’ll just throw this journal entry down for you:

I also created a playlist, in order of moments: July is Amazing Playlist

So if you can even read that ^, You’d see that I’ve been a bit “off”

There is a light and it never goes out
We went on a camping trip, just the three of us and Melba and Stanley (our dogs). I scheduled the trip so late that the campground only had weekdays in the middle of the week available without switching sites each night. So we ended up camping on my birthday. This is no WOMP WOMP situation. It’s not about cake, it’s not about fancy dinners. For me, celebrating my birthday - mostly probably because it’s a summer birthday, is about not having to go to work that day because I never was in school on my birthday. I just want to enjoy the day, and this year, it coincided with hiking one of my favorite trails, and sitting on a giant rock for a break and thinking, this is a GOOD birthday.

I’m a bit of a nerd, and Ryan has taught me a lot about appreciating rocks, and the fact that we can’t even GET some rocks where we live, and a few hours away there are completely different rocks. He’s shown me that even crap rocks they throw down at the train station haphazardly in unkempt beds that used to be maintained can have fossils in them. He made our little girl a rock nerd too, and she appreciates a free rock souvenir every now and then too.

This trail has you hopping from stone to stone across a small stream that tests your balance, activates a little “what if I fall?” anxiety, and works your “then you have a wet shoe and life moves on,” response. It’s nearly complete shade which is good for a pasty girl, and it’s not hiked as much as the “popular” trails. You run into few people, and Melba, our Pug-Enough mix shares this as one of her favorite places. Two years ago when we first went, we learned that Melba was more in shape than any of us (or it’s just that much easier when you have four legs) she dragged us up the bluffs, she took this trail in stride, hopping from rock to rock, and launching herself across giant gaps even though her shape is that of a tube of turkey meat on four baby carrot legs. But it made her HAPPY. Like not what people assume is dog happy, you could just tell that in her everyday life, this was the freaking coolest place she’s ever been. So we went back, and as soon as she saw the stream, she knew EXACTLY where we were, and guided Stanley, who was born weeks before the last time we were here, and didn’t come home to us yet. I guess I’m more of a rough and tumble birthday girl, with dirty finger nails, and the smell of campfires and bug spray.

Yes, at any moment the whole thing could tumble down and kill us all, but it just makes me think of The Smiths.

Upon my return, I’m struggling to grasp on to the one the one thing that I learned the most from the pandemic. Time for space, time to create, time for music, time for rest, time to stress, time to be active, time to appreciate and time to feel is far more important than paychecks, deadlines and fear. Yes, I need a freaking paycheck, but in the end, that’s only a fraction of everything we have right here in front of us.

Warning:

There Goes the Fear
The first day it rained, a lot. Scout and I decided to go to walmart to buy what I forgot to pack, which this time…it was a lot. Ryan stayed with the dogs in the tent, and as soon as we got there the store manager sent us all to the back of the store because a tornado touched down 15 minutes away. I did my best to play it cool for Scout’s sake, but all I could think was Ryan and the dogs stuck in the tent and I was stupid to leave them. This was NOT like The Smith’s song. Scout held her panic well, as townies all around us checked their phones, talked about places I never have been while the employees passed out popsicles to the little kids, which I thought was a nice touch in a moment like that.

I texted Ryan to let him know, he was able to watch the weather from his favorite youtube weather nerd, Max Velocity, and texted back that it was not moving toward any of us. My phone was stuck in a weird “let’s not tell her what she can’t handle” mode.

About 45 minutes later, there was a revolt in the break room where all the elderly people waited. A small stream of them came out complaining about how they were going to do their damn shopping anyway, and one by one they defied “orders” and went about their business. The woman across from me said, “Is it over? Did they say we can go?” And one of the women walking out said, “I don’t know - I’m following them.” And pointed to the people in front of her. Thanks to karate, I know this is not always the best or right move. But based on the sunshine beating on my head through the skylight above me, I took the opportunity to mock everyone in my life that said to me, “if the people in front of you jump off a bridge, are you going to do it too?” The woman thought I lost my mind. Everyone around me got the joke, and god willing whoever had the refried beans managed to get to the bathroom on time. We were all safe, and the humidity broke.

She’s always been cool, but now it’s her own cool

Velvet Ring
Scout, turned 14 in May, it’s maybe part of the meh…sometimes it’s hard to watch them grow up, maybe when you know you only had one on purpose because you wanted to “suck the marrow” out of every minute to enjoy and appreciate who they are and who they become. But the best part of the trip was when she decided she wanted to play her playlist, and Ryan said “oh, wow, you know who this is?” and he got the fuzzy feeling that his kid found the good stuff on her own like I did the week before in the car on our way to practice.

Another Journal Entry:

I don’t like Shakespeare…

Secret Lovers
There, I said it. I tried to like Shakespeare, but I had to read too much of it, and old english really hangs me up. Or at least it did in high school. But I’ve seen different versions of Romeo & Juliet, and I often think of the relationships that aren’t allowed. The ones kept in secret, the risks taken for true love. And one morning on our dog walk, I see it. Right there in front of me.

So hot, I couldn’t do a damn thing

In the Summertime
It’s been uncomfortably warm and humid here. Like worse than I remember in a long time - it’s apparently been that way all across the country, and then we get hit by the wildfires creating poor air quality. It’s just been unpleasant, so much that even drawing is undesirable.

And as I’ve mentioned before I subscribe to the Draw or Die Club and am sent awesome drawing prompts every single day of the year. Here’s one that perfectly captures the heat:

We all know a summer trist cannot always last forever.
All By Myself

Sunday
As a fun, chaotic, restful and hot July closed, I think of open roads, lakes, bluffs, sunshine, trees, being together and a strong effort towards enforcing the calm I deserve and need. Peace and calm don’t happen to you, you have to make them happen.

Tell me what you’ve been up to, I want to know!

Until next time, hopefully next week!

Sara (Without An H)